Note: The Cyperhic Help Section has not been proof-read. It may contain
errors from OCR.
Decoded Cypheric Help has been taken from the Spectrum Game Database
<http://www.void.demon.nl/sgd.html>.

 

A TALE OF
*KEROVNIA*
------------------------------------------------------------------------
BY
G. SINCLAIR

EDITED BY
C. GALE


  CHAPTER ONE

Once upon a time (to coin a phrase) there was a fairy land called
Kerovnia, ruled by King Erik and his Queen, Jendah II, which nestled
cosily between the great Nattus mountain valley and the Aquatica Sea.
Kerovnia was a million square miles, most of it forests. At the edge of
these vast forests, stretching north to the mountains and south to the
inhospitable deserts, lay a host of farming communities.

The farms were owned by the true ancestors of Kerovnia - the 'Little
People', close cousins of the Dwarfs and Gnomes. The Little People were
also the forebears of the Roobikyoub Dwarfs, who had left their farms to
mine for lead in the Kerovnian forests. The Little People had stayed
behind, happy to continue farming; and specialising in the manifacture
of their famous 'nut yoghurt'.

The Dwarfs are giants in the world of commerce, and thrive on the cut
and thrust of business. The Little People, although less acute, have a
reputation for hard work and industry.

The mountainous regions, with their snow-capped peaks forever glinting
and flickering against the ice-blue sky, are a great tourist attraction.
Mountain trekking is very popular, and it is not expensive to hire a
pink unicorn, indigenous to the area, to explore the many and varied
beauty spots the mountains have to offer. (These unicorns were
introduced by The Little People three centuries ago, when a certain King
Faldous of

Page 1

Aquitania, a neighbouring province, gave the King of Kerovnia a red
unicorn stallion as a birthday gift.) The Dwarfs, not surprisingly, have
a complete monopoly of the tourist industry.

King Erik and Queen Jendah are not vastly popular figures and command
the loyalty of only a small section of the community of Dwarfs, Gnomes,
and Little People. The majority of the other inhabitants are
anti-Royalist, and form the Opposition Party. Their leader is the
notorious Gringo Baconburger, whose headquarters lie in the maze of
tunnels and chambers beneath these mountains. The desert regions are
mainly uninhabited, but at their extremities they run down to meet the
azure blue of the Aquatica sea, which gently washes the golden
shoreline. The Royal holiday villa is situated at Kerga, the capital of
this region. Here, holiday resorts abound and tourism flourishes. A big
attraction is the various paddling competitions throughout the summer
months, which are organised by the King himself.

There is one region in Kerovnia which serves neither the tourist nor
mining industries - The Great Wastelands. This is a vast area of
wilderness, bordered by slimy ponds and sluggish streams. However, the
whole area is of great importance to the Little People, because it is
here that they breed their beloved pink unicorns and the charming
Kattish Dorabs. The dorab, a cross between a rabbit and a dog, was
introduced some six hundred years ago. lt is most prized for its hunting
abilities. lt has the body of a spaniel, and the soft fur and droopy
ears of a rabbit. Many Kerovnians, including the King himself, keep a
dorab as a pet.

The Wastelands, with its grassy wilderness that sways and dances to
tunes of far-off breezes in the winter, and whose rushes crackle and
burn in the summer heat, lead to the capital city of Kerovnia - Keros -
(home and birthplace of the honourable and righteous King Erik!)

Centuries of selective breeding, preserving the purest of blood lines by

Page 2

constant and meticulous inter-marriage, have resulted in the impressive
figure of our present monarch - who, in a poor light, and with a
following wind, could actually be mistaken for a human.

The Dwarfs, Gnomes, and Little People are looked down upon by the
Royalist party - who love and venerate King Erik. The opposition party,
led by Gringo, is rapidly gaining strength, nourished by Erik's
increasing reputation as a political bungler, both at home and abroad.
His mishandling of affairs of State has resulted in an economic crisis
and general social unrest, never before experienced in Kerovnia.

Queen Jendah is generally considered to be wiser and more politically
astute than her husband. She is a charismatic figure; witty,
intelligent, and the proud possessor of a graceful beauty. But the King,
a closet misogynist, refuses to let his wife take an active part in home
affairs, or foreign policy, She is reduced to busying herself with the
"Elderly Little People's Society", and the distribution of Piquant Rat
Pancakes to the poor and needy. Her talents as an artist, sculptor and
interior design decorator, however, find ample outlets.

There is, in fact, only one female in the kingdom who is greatly loved
by the King - the apple of his squinting eye - his daughter Lattecia;
known as "Lacey". She is everything a proud father could wish for in an
only child. She has inherited the pointed nose and greasy strands of
lack-lustre, mousy hair, of the Golden Family. Also, she has a sweet
character, which has made her enormously popular in Kerovnian high
society. A most desirable catch for any foreign Prince!

Lacey has just celebrated her sixteenth birthday. She has been given a
male dorab by the name of Poops, and is deeply in love with Prince
Malcolm, the dashing and handsome heir to the throne of Aquitania! At
present Malcolm's multifarjous (some would hint nefarious!) activities
as a Royal helicopter pilot - not to mention his giddy affair with the

Page 3

blushing and virginal Lacey - continually hit the headlines of the Dwarf
colour tabloid, "The Kerovnian World" - owned and run by Gringo Baconburger.

Princess Lacey has, since her childhood, been schooled fer the role of
future Queen of Kerovnia. This tiresome and difficult task has been the
duty of the Royal governess, Zita. This ancient crone was nursery-maid
to Erik, himself, and it has been hinted that she is responsible not
only for Lacey's education, but also for Erik's (who continues to take
maths and science lessons at the age of fifty-three!) Gringo Baconburger
even suggested, at a rather violent political meeting of the Opposition
Party, that Zita was more in charge of Kerovnia's finances, and the
allotment of the Royal treasury funds, than the King himself. Zita's
paternal grandmother, although of true Kerovnian stock, was also
descended from the land of Perpetania, and Zita has inherited her
supernatural powers. Her clairvoyance and Tarot reading have solved many
a tricky political situation in Kerovnia. Even more importantly, Zita
has magically enhanced and improved Lacey's natural beauty over the year
-thus winning even more favour in the eyes of the King.

Although Zita's powers have increased her hold over the Kerovnian Royal
family, she has remained a simple woman, with little in common with the
local Jet Set. She lives in a small cottage in the Palace grounds
overlooking Queen Jendah's famous rose garden, surrounded by her
cauldrons, magic potions, cobwebs, spiders, eyes of newts, and tongues
of toads; not to mention her venomous one-eyed familiar, the
supercilious feline, Postlesthwaite.

Dwarf journalists have suggested that Zita is bewitching the Princess in
order to obtain supreme power in the years to come; but Erik was
overjoyed that she worked tirelessly for no salary, and invariably
agreed with his every word.

Page 4

One afternoon, Erik was giving audience to several nobles of the land in
the blue State Receiving Room. Zita was present, making discreet notes
in her shabby green leather notebook, nodding and grunting away to
herself. The nobles were discussing the corn tax laws, complaining
bitterly about the steep increments in the yearly taxes.

Erik scratched his head in confusion, unable to deal with their mounting
hostility, when Zita stepped forward and snapped:

"You are all lucky to be able to trade at all in the Kingdom of
Kerovnia! The King allows you to sell your inferior wheat to all and
sundry, and you have the honour and privilege of paying taxes to the
Royal purse!"

The nobles were stunned into silence by this tirade, and Erik promptly
dismissed the assemb!ed throng, before they had a chance to regain their
composure. When the room was empty, Erik rushed over to Zita and grasped
her bony hands in his claw-like paws, and exclaimed:

"Dear Zita, my ugly and faithful subject, my Machiavellian and toothless
politician, my wart-encrusted beauty! Please tell me what I can do for
you, to reward you and brighten your every hour?"

Zita thoughtfully pulled a long white hair from her left nostril, and
casually squeezing a pimple or two, replied as follows:

"Dear Majesty. There is one small favour that I beg of you, in all your
greatness. Not far away from our land lives a friend of mine, who was
falsely sent into exile, for a crime he did not commit. He now seeks
refuge in a country like Kerovnia. He is a brilliant man, with a mind
unequalled - "

"Do you imply!" interrupted the King, "That this man has a greater
intellect than my own?"

"Oh no Sire", winced Zita, "No living creature could possibly equal your
gracious majesty!"

Page 5

"Oh well, then, pray continue", conceded the King.

"I have known of him since my earliest days", Zita continued, "his
magical powers are supreme and his scientific discoveries are legendary.
Perhaps your majesty could find work for him, either at the Golden
University or the new Research Laboratory for the cross-pollination of
various types of foreign currency?"

"No!" answered Erik, "I shall make better use of him than that. What I
need at the Palace, to amuse my precious Lacey and to entertain the
Royal Guests, is a Court Magician. Find him, and bring him to me!"

And so it came about that the sorcerer, Kronos by name, entered the
Royal household, and became the Court Magician. So amazing were his
tricks, and so numerous his feats of magic, that Lacey began almost to
shirk her school lessons with Zita - shrieking and screaming with
delight as Kronos produced yet one more dorab from his green top hat.

Page 6


  CHAPTER TWO

Kronos was much loved by the court, and was frequently requested to
perform his feats of magic in the nobles' country houses. He was
particularly admired by Queen Jendah's housemaids, for whom he often
agreed to magically make the beds, dust the floors, and lay the fires.
The cooks often invited him into the Royal kitchens, and gourmet cuisine
soon became known throughout the land. With a click of his tongue, he
could turn a goose's liver into the finest Pate de Fois Gras, and with a
mere glance at a citrus fruit, would produce a devilish Lemon Souffle.
Erik became so worried about the general laziness amongst the Palace
staff, that he threatened to cut off their heads unless they began to
work properly. Zita came to their rescue before any damage was done, and
life in the palace returned to normal, and thereafter Kronos left the
Palace staff well alone, and interested himself in the gardens and stables.

lt was whilst making a tour of the stables, and visiting the loose box
of Erik's ceremonial charger, Bruce - part unicorn and part horse - that
he made the acquaintance of the head groom, JoJo. He was a pleasant
enough fellow, in his late fifties, who had undergone his apprenticeship
during the reign of Erik's father Willy III. They struck up
conversation, and Kronos discovered to his delight, that he had found
just the man to assist him in his psychological analysis of the monarch:
a project he was undertaking on behalf of the underground newspaper,
'Fight on!'JoJo had known the King when he was a little lad, and had
seen him grow into manhood. He knew much about the King's faults and
weaknesses, and had promised to fill

Page 7

Kronos in on many points of interest.

During his tours of the gardens and stables, Kronos caused quite a stir.
His reputation had spread before him, and both gardeners and stable lads
were anxious to meet the great man, to express their various
dissatisfactions and worries. Kronos, with his calm manner and cultured
appearance, soon won the hearts of those around him. Gradually, in the
back of his mind, he began to wonder if he would not himself make a
better, a wiser, and a more popular King of Kerovnia than Erik!
(Especially with the help of his dear sister, Zita.)

Whilst these ambitious dreams were running through the cunning mind of
Kronos, an even more daring plan was being conceived by Gringo
Baconburger. Gringo, who headed the Dwarf Liberation of Kerovnia party,
was Erik's ruthless opposition leader, renowned for his political
activities in Dwarf circles, and dearly loved by the Little People. lf
Gringo could force the King to hold a democratic election for the first
time in Kerovnian history, it was almost certain that the Dwarf party
would secure a majority of votes, and throw out the Royalists, whose
contribution to trade and tourism was quite inept.

Gringo's grasp of international affairs was very astute and his
political concepts were the most advanced of all the varying Dwarf
populations. lt was he who had first explained to the Little People,
with the help of numerous histograms and statistics, that their age-old
demand of: 'Longer hours for less pay!' contained a subtle but fatal
economic flaw. But how, short of a revolution, was he to force the King
into agreeing to a general election?

Gringo Baconburger was a relatively young leader for the Dwarf faction
to have adopted. From the beginning his confidence as a public orator
and as an intellectual figure had reached the ears of the Elderly Dwarf
Soclety, (the wisest members of the Dwarf and Little People communities)

Page 8

responsible for the election of important figureheads in Dwarf society,
as well as the tiresome activity of meeting with the King twice a year,
to discuss social problems.

lt had soon become clear that Gringo was the man they had been looking
for to head the Opposition Party. Since his election, Kerovnia's trade,
tourism and industry had flourished under his skilful management and his
faithful followers. In accordance with the elders' wishes, Gringo moved
away from the heart of the mining community, and bought a large house in
the village of Korrezita, one of the agricultural sectors for wheat and
barley. lt was from this village that he directed the tourist industry,
boosted the economy of the mining community, and exploited trade. All
his political activities were carried out deep within ihe Kerovnian
mountains in secret hideaways and chambers. Here the weekly editions of
the political newspaper, 'Fight On!', were published: A journal bitterly
condemmed by the King, although secretly read by many of his palace staff.

Page 9


  CHAPTER THREE

But let us, gentle reader, return to our heroine, the sweet princess
Lacey. We find her sitting on her cushioned window-box seat; dreaming of
her beloved Malcolm. Her exquisite room, panelled with the finest
walnut, looked out onto the main palace courtyard, surrounded by high
walls, fabricated from the finest Kerovnian stone. She opened wide her
lattice windows to breath deeply the scent from the multitudinous blooms
of the Royal garden, nodding in the silver moonlight. Below her window,
the strains of the Royal orchestra, performing a classical symphony,
drifted towards her on the soft summer evening air, and she felt tears
pricking behind her pale eyes. Almost imagining that she could see the
image of the noble Malcolm reflected in the water splashing in the
fountains beneath her, she swept her greasy hair from her narrow
forehead and gazed dreamily into the star-strown sky, recalling her
first meeting with the honourabie prince.

lt had been at Kerga, the previous year, when her father had invited
several Royal families to spend a couple of weeks soaking up the summer
atmosphere. People were always pleased to receive an invitation from the
Kerovnian Royal family. They boasted some of the finest fishing
available, and the summer palace had been modernised some short while
before. The majority of Palaces were most uncomfortable inside; hurnid,
dusty and filled with spiders.

Page 10

Erik was considered to be an entertaining host ever since the employment
of Kronos, who continued to delight both Royal children and adults
alike. The food, too, was excellent, and Queen Jendah's trifles were
internationaffy renowned.

Five different Royal families had been invited, including Queen Hortensa
of Aquitania, and her son, Malcolm. The King of Aquitania had died some
five years previously in mysterious circumstances. Lacey had nover
before met the Aquitanian household. She had beerl taking part in a
Royal quiz programme in the capital city (aided by Zita's supernatural
powers), and she arrived for the midweek dinner and ball after the
presentations had been made. Erik had been busy playing canasta every
evening with the King and Princess of Silenissia and had quite forgotten
to introduce his daughter to the crowd of guests. So poor Lacey arrived
at the dinner that parlicular evening feeling most shy and lost. She was
dressed in a ravishing pink summer frock, her hair blow-dried into
ringlets, and her patent pink leather shoes glimmered in the
candlelight. She was the cynosure of ail eyes. The banquet that night
was taking place in the orchid room, a perfect oval shape with varnished
walls and bow-shaped windows, overlooking the sea.

Directly beneath the windows grew wild orchids of vivid purple and pink,
whose blooms reached up to, and enhanced the beauty of the room itself.
The long oak tables were draped with pale blue lace tablecloths, bearing
the Golden Families' coat of arms, and adorned with the finest silver
plate and the most expensive crystal glasses in the Kingdom. Blue
candles had been placed in front of every guest, and each candle stem
had been lovingly decorated with a garland of tiny pink roses and purple
daises.

The Royal choir, which had been discreetly positioned behind the blue
silk curtains, sung a selection of Kerovnian ballads. At one end of the
table sat Erik. He was clothed in a crushed cherry coloured silk uniform
of the Royal Unicorn Guards, with a collar of pure ermine. His breast
was ablaze with

Page 11

rows of brilliantly shining medals, and his thinning hair supported the
August Crown. This was studded with Capachon rubies, and surrounded by
seed pearls from the Aquatica sea, the symbols of the month of August.

Facing the beaming King, at the opposite end of the long table, sat the
beautiful Queen Jendah. Although she wore no crown, her long, auburn
locks had been fashioned in true Kerovnian style, diamonds and emeralds
woven amongst the tresses of her hair. She wore a fine gold lame dress,
and pointed exquisite purple satin slippers. She outshone every other
lady present.

Somewhere amongst this happy throng sat Matcolm, heir to the throne of
Aquitania. Short, rather plump, with a double chin, stocky muscular
legs, and very strong arms, Malcom had always been a heart-throb with
the Royal ladies. His beady brown eyes were sharp to take in details of
every new arrival; his rather thin lips concealed his small evenly
shaped teeth. Although extremely shy in private, he had an unpleasant
habit of being loud-mouthed in public to hide his inferiority complex.
So far, he had spent the entire evening in conversation with the Lady
Franceska, daughter of Earl Audarva of Aquitania.

Malcolm had been against the idea of spending two weeks of his summer
holiday in Kerovnia, for he had planned a sailing trip with his friends,
(particularly the Lady Franceska). However, his mother, Hortensa, had
insisted her son accompany her to Kerga, for she had other plans for him
throughout those summer days. This tall, bespectacled lady - known for
her coldness and aloof attitude towards the poor inhabitants of
Aquitania - had for some time nourished the idea of a matrimonial union
of the two families. lt was clear to her that should Malcolm wed
Lattecia then Aquitania would be joined financially as well as
politically to Kerovnia, allowing her to exert power over the mining
community and exploit to the full their stocks of diamands and gold. lt
would be easy for her to wield power through Malcolm, who adored her and
respected her opinions in

Page 12

matters of state. She found Erik quite ridiculous, especialjy with all
those medals scattered across his chest; but Jendah was a good friend,
who would be quite happy for Hortensa to discreetiy intervene in Erik's
affairs.

The guests gasped with sheer pleasure as Lacey entered the banquet hall.
Malcolm raised his eyes from Franceska's face to gaze at the princess as
she skipped into the room, curtseying left and right to the assembled
guests. She appeared to be a placid and retiring sort of girl (Malcolm
detested bossy women with temperamental characters).

Hortensa spied her son watching Lacey attentively, and sighed with deep
relief. The Green Witch of Aquitania's prophesy was taking its
pre-destined course. As Lacey took her place next to her mother, she
caught Maicolm staring at her intently. Blushing furiously, she turned
quickly around and smiled sweetly at her mother.

Their real meeting did not take place until some hours later, while
coffee was being served. Lacey had spent the entire dinner trying to
avoid Malcolm who could not keep his eyes off her. By the end of dinner,
Lacey's face was a brilliant embarrassed pink, as the bold Aquitanian's
eyes constantly undressed her. Hortensa, feeling that the moment was
right to introduce the pair, took his small podgy hand in her rather
large one, and pulled him over to where Lacey was sitting, surrounded by
friends and relatives.

'Now my dears", said Hortensa, in her loud horsy voice "1 think it is
about time you met one another. After all, Kerovnia really isn't far
from our home city, and I think you two should become the best of friends."

At this Lacey blushed a more violent purple, and looked down at her
shoes, while Malcolm smiled kindly at the wretched creature sitting
before him.

"Would you care for another milkshake?" he asked nonchalantly.

Page 13

"Why, yes" she stuttered. "You are too kind". And she allowed the bold
Malcolm to brush his thin lips across her tiny red hands. This historic
meeting had electrifying effects on the assembied guests, and gradually
the hubbub of voices died away to a mere whisper. Everyone craned
forward to try and catch the merest hint of the conversation between the
two Royal love-birds.

Hortensa and Jendah retired to the ladies boudoir to discuss the
prospect of a Royal wedding within the next twelve months. Malcolm, who
felt that he was now centre-stage, raised his voice to a deep crescendo
staring at Lacey with undisguised admiration:

"My dear Lacey, perhaps you could come to Aquitania for a visit next
year? 1 believe you would truly love our country. Although it lies to
the south of Kerovnia, and has a dry climate, we are fortunate in
enjoying the clement weather from the southern seas, which bring cool
breezes to even the hottest of our towns."

So saying, Malcolm flexed his shoulders and arms, broad and muscular
from many years of swimming and fishing. But Lacey, in her naivety, kept
her eyes fixed on his aquiline nose. Malcolm continued with his
description of the topography of Aquitania, while Lacey sat and listened
in awe and admiration. He talkod incessantly of his homeland geography,
history and political and economic policies; and furnished a great deal
of information about himself. And for three hours the Royal coffee
booths remained otherwise silent, as the guests drank in Malcolm's
fascinating exposition. Hortensa was overjoyed at having conceived and
raised such a paragon of an heir - so tremendously popular with the
Royal public. From then on the romance between the two youngsters
flourished. The Royal pair were seen everywhere together, at paddling
parties, swimming parties, sailing, fishing, and crocodile shoots.

Page 14

Lacey was deeply and romantically in love with Malcolm, she felt like
the heroine in one her favourite Rose Romance novelettes. Some cynics
thought that for Malcolm's part this was not True Love. He was not,
after all, averse to dallying with many a fair maid, and perhaps he was
simply enchanted by her youthful femininity and charm. Worse, it had
been suggested in some quarters that he fancied himself as the future
king of Kerovnia!

And so the lovers parted - with undying promises of fidelity and love.
lt was agreed that before Lacey returned to the Golden Palace, they
would meet again shortly after her sixteenth birthday at the mountain
city of Krossia for a trekking holiday. Zita would accompany them as a
chaporon. The following summer saw Lacey dreaming constantly of the bold
Malcolm, whilst he, devoid of any other female companionship, had
invited the Lady Franceska to come away with him on a boating trip.

Page 15


  CHAPTER FOUR

At this point, gentle reader, we take our leave of the fair Lacey. Her
eyes ablaze with love, her tresses (treated with her mothers new
conditioner for oily hair) shining brightly in the moonlight. She clasps
her shabby teddy bear, whose ugly little head had been half eaten by
Poops, to her meagre chest. We now travel some three hundred miles to
the heart of the mountain region were we find Kronos alighting from the
back of a flying polar bear.

Kronos had been called out on a mission of some urgency: his brief being
that of a real magician, rather than a court jester. The problem
concerned a somewhat large dragon by the name of Harry. This charming
creature had been a pet of Kronos's for quite some time. Harry was a
Kerulgian dragon; a cold-blooded marnmal found only in the mountaincus
regions, where it can retire to the damp and cold of a subterranean cave
when the temperatures reach an uncomfortable heat during the daylight
hours. The Kerulgian dragon is some two metres in length, green and
orange in colour, with bright red scales lining the periphery of its
arched back. Its tail forms at least half of its body, curved and
sharpened at both ends. lt has bovine, brown eyes and large raspberry
coloured tusks. But these dragons, though forocious to look at, have an
unusual psychological trait: they are afraid of peopie. Indeed, even the
smallest mouse is inclined to make them jump. Because of this timidity,
most Kerulgian dragons have been eaten by other species of dragon, and
very few are left in Kerovnia. How Harry has survived over the years is
a story in itself. Harry was rescued as a baby

Page 16

on the shores of the Aquatica Sea, having been abandoned by his mother,
and was rescued by Kronos, who happened to be visiting the area at the
time. Kronos and Harry formed an immediate attachment to each other and
travelled everywhere together. As the majority of Kerulgian dragons were
finding it difficult to survive, Kronos invented a magic potion to make
him more aggressive in times of danger. Thus, every time Harry felt
himself threatened by man or beast, he would take a secret sip of the
potion and almost immediately was enabled to exhale a hellsome fire for
a radius of 50 miles. Sometimes, however, either through eagerness or
nervousness, he would take an overdose of the potion - which resulted in
immediate disaster! A yellow fog would then descend over Kerovnia, so
that one could scarely see ones hand in front of ones face; and even at
the height of noon it would be folly to drive without the use of
headlights! Often, to impress strangers, Kronos would ask Harry to
breathe extra deeply - and entire villages would be covered either in
flames of molten gold, or in a foul-smeiling fog.

One particular evening, Harry, at home within the foothill region of
Kozza, had requested Kronos to bring him an urgent supply of magic
potion, as he was feeling alarmed and threatened by a large herd of blue
dragons, which were reported to be lurking in the neighbourhood. Kronos
would rather that Harry lived with him, but unfortunately dragons were
not allowed within the palace boundary; so he made post-haste to the
foothiljs to deliver the potion to Harry's secret lair. There he noticed
some posters scattered over the table in the corner of the room.

"What have we here, Harry?" he enquired, glancing in the direction of
the posters.

"Funny you should ask that, pal. Well, you see, this chap came round the
other day canvassing for the Gringo Baconburger Party."

The dragon inhaled deeply, lighting up his orange nostrils. "Funny thing is,

Page l7

his political headquarters aren't far from here; in fact, on the other
side of the valley. He seems an interesting chap, this Gringo, and he's
quite against the Royal family - rather like you. Well, it appears that
he plans a general uprising to force the King to hold democratic
elections, and then, if all goes well, he plans to take over Kerovnia
and force the Royal family into exile."

Kronos stroked his beard thoughtfully, and gazed deeply al his friend.
"I wonder if you would introduce me to this Gringo person, Harry." he
said. "It's strange I have not heard of him before. I tend to know
everyone in Kerovnia, especially in political circles."

"Oh, I don't think it so surprising that you haven't heard of Gringo.
After all, the Dwarf faction don't have any seats in the Royal
Parliament. The entire Government is run by the King's political friends
and the supporters of the Royal house of Aquitania. The whole thing
smacks of nepotism. 1 always have my ear to the ground, here in the
hills. 1 suppose all you hear, living in the palace, is the same old
Royalist propaganda."

Kronos, somewhat taken aback at Harry's social and political acumen,
decided that the problem must be the magic potion, and resolved that in
future he would cut down on the parsley and thyme, to avoid any further
embarrassment. Harry, finding Kronos's discomfort amusing, and on a
definite high, having just taken an extra slug of potion, roared with
glee, slapped all seven of his thighs and set the roof of his house
alight with a cascading shower of orange sparks!

"Pray curb your enthusiasm, Harry. I shall have to pay for the
refurbishment of your gloomy lair out of the Royal purse. Conduct me a
straight way to the home of this Gringo Baconburger and introduce us. I
think it is of the utmost urgency that we meet before the set of sun."

Kronos spoke with stern authority, and the dragon realised that the fun and

Page 18

games were at an end. He padded obediently over to a stone recess, from
which he removed his blue and gold striped scarf, which he wound ten or
fifteen times round his neck with his ivory plated teeth. He moved
towards the entrance of the cave, donning his best Sunday tweed hat,
which he stuck jauntily between his large, floppy ears.

"OK. Shall we go? Do you really want to go? Is it absolutely necessary
to go? It's rather late to go calling. Do you think we'11 wake him up?
Do you think he'11 be annoyed? It's rather a long way. Jolly cold
outside, it's - "

"Stop fussing, you overgrown tadpole!" snarled Kronos. "Can't you ever
summon up the spirit of adventure, worrying whether a Dwarf - a mere
Dwarf - will be inconvenienced or not. Pshaw! Tcha! Hrmph! What care I
for Dwarfs - or any other creature? The only thing that matters is that
I see him, and that we proceed without delay."

With that, Kronos strolled out of the cave, muttering to himself that it
was difficult to find a chap of one's own intellectual ability, and that
dragons could sometimes be extremely boring.

Harry stumbled along behind him, his clawed feet slipping occasionally
on the moss-covered stones that had been carved into the staircase for
the use of the local residents. The dragon, feeling rather hurt, bumbled
and stumbied along until he finally overtook Kronos, and, leading the
way down the slope to the edge of the valley, pointed out the lights
twinkling in the distance: The home of Gringo Baconburger,

At that hour of the night there was nobody else to be seen. No busy
Dwarfs heading towards the mines, with spades and shovels slung over
their shoulders; no Little People pushing carts filled with home-made
produce for sale to the mining canteens. There were no ladies of noble
class riding their magnificent unicorns through the hills, followed by
their foot servants. The land was quiet and dark as far as the eye could
see. The

Page 19

moon was like a giant, iced vanilla balloon gleaming brilliantly in the
pagoda of the sky. lt lit the way to the deep bottom of the valley,
clearly showing the stairs which led to the residential area where
Gringo had his small stone house.

As they neared the house the moon passed overhead, and for a few seconds
lit up the the golden chimney, perched on top of the roof. This chimney
had become a symbol, for the members of Gringo's political party, of the
strife that was yet to come. Harry paused, and gazed intently at the
beautiful object, which somewhat resembled a gold charm on a bracelet.

He was a sentimental fellow, and he felt tears pricking at his large
watery eyes.

"Kronos, dan't you think it would be rather lovely if 1 could have a
chimney like that? Or perhaps a silver one would be more fashionable?"

Kronos preserved a dignified silence. Though he had raised the dragon
himself, he could hardly believe that the animal could talk such
nonsense. Kronos, like most sorcerers, was something of a Victorian, and
averse to any display of enthusiasm or extremes of emotion. He had never
learnt to cry, and rarely showed signs of sentiment: In the Magician's
Guild it is, of course, considered a sign of weakness. (Although it is
rumoured that the green witches of Aquitania had learnt certain feminine
wiles; in order to charm wizards and steal away their magic powers!)

Upon reaching Gringo's house, Kronos removed his magical golden wand
from his inside vest pocket and clasped it firmiy in his left hand.
Should they encounter any problems, he intended to use it. Harry peered
through the lattice windows, and saw that several candles had been lit
and carefully positioned on a large beechnut desk, at which a rather
handsome Dwarf was seated, scribbling furiously away on a piece of
parchment. Kronos rapped sharply at the door, and the Dwarf, looking up,
saw the

Page 20

dragon breathing furiously at him through the window.

Gringo rose slowly from his cushioned chair, pushed the dark curly locks
from his eyes, removed the horn-rimmed reading glasses from his
unusuaily small nose, walked purposefully towards the front door, opened
it sharply and proceeded to knock the magic wand straight out of
Kronos's hand!

"None of that here, old man", he admonished the astonished magician. "Wo
don't go in for magic and that sort of tomfoolery around here, you know,
Put away that juvenile by-product of crowd-control technology! Grow up,
be a man, get a decent job! Come in, sit down, have a scotch and soda!"

Kronos, scarlet with indignation, grudgingly followed Gringo into the
hallway, bending his long neck to avoid colliding with the copper bell
hanging from the doorway. Harry, stifling a fiery chortle, winked at the
gold chimney, did a little pirouette and skipped after Kronos into the hall.

They followed Gringo into a narrow room furnished with comfortable
weather-beaten sofas covered with cotton sheets. The room was too low
for the dragon and he had to curl his immensely long tail into a tight
ball and sit on it. Gringo motioned Kronos into the largest of the three
armchairs, while he went to the sideboard and poured out three strong
measures of whisky in large crystal goblets. Kronos had gone an even
darker shade of purple and was rubbing his hands together so violently
that they gave off sparks of anger.

The Dwarf served the drinks with irritating slowness. Kronos's face
turned from purple to white with fury, and smoke began to pour out from
his ears. Harry, whose tail was suffering severe cramp, collapsed to the
floor, rolled over on his back, and stared gloomily at the ceiling,
deeply regretting that he had left the posters lying about his room.
Gringo handed round the drinks (shaken, not stirred), and sat sedately
on his cushioned

Page 21

chair. Kronos finished his glass in one gulp, and spitting with rage
jumped to his feet and screeched at Harry, who was by now rolling about
in a drunken stupor:

"You know alcohol and magic potion don't mix! You foolish, foolish
dragon. You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Gringo winked at the befuddled dragon. "So you are the beast that
everybody has been complaining about. Perhaps instead of casting your
evil fog over these parts, you would do us all a favour and smother the
palace instead."

"Certainly not!" interrupted Kronos. "What a disgraceful suggestion.
What do you know about dragons anyway?"

"Actually quite a lot", answered Gringo, complacently. "My doctoral
thesis contained three chapters on the influence of the red dragons on
the Kerovnian population during the reign of King Faldous. It is well
known that these beasts possessed quite alarming intellectual faculties,
and that they were used - "

"Enough! Enough, I say." screamed the magician, his face turning every
colour of the rainbow. "For heavens sake, enough of this idle chitchat,
let's get down to business."

"I am not entirely sure," replied Gringo calmly, "That you and I have
any business to discuss." This prompted a stream of unprintable abuse
from the irate magician, causing Harry to squirm into a corner with
embarrassment and wrap his tail firmly around his ears.

Gringo stared at the sorcerer as he whipped his magic wand from his
pocket and brandished it in the Dwarf's face.

Page 22

"I'll get my own back an you, you stunted little villain! Don't imagine
you could possibly seize power in Kerovnia without consulting the genius
of Kronos. Your puny political activities are at an end, my friend. The
time is ripe for me to rule all of this domain, and you and your like
will grovel as my subjects!"

With this parting shot he swept out of the room, and Harry, uncoiling
his aching limbs, swayed out alter him.

"Well", said Gringo, "It looks like the fun is just beginning." He
replenished his empty glass, picked up the Telephone, dialled a secret
number, and said "George, get over here pronto! And hold the front Page,
we've got one hell of a story for the palace newspaper! Oh, bring Pete
with you, while you're at it. We'll have to creep over to that dragon's
lair to sneak some photos. What da you think of this for a headline?
KRONOS AND DRAGON EN TETE A TETE - WHAT A TEA PARTY!"

Page 23


  CHAPTER FIVE

The peachy summer days drifted slowly by. Kerovnia, land of milk and
honey (and nut yoghurt) blossomed and flourished in the eternal
sunshine. The court that year had decided to remain in Keros, mainly
because Erik had heard, from underground sources, of a Potential Dwarf
uprising. Queen Jendah, however, had left for the winter palace where
she was working on her Royal architectural projects.

Zita and Kronos had gone on holiday, and were shortly to attend a secret
sorcerers conterence. Lacey was packing; excitedly preparing to leave
for Aquitania to join her fianc. Love had transformed Lacey: her hair
had grown shoulder length, the braces had been removed from her teeth,
and the judicious use of plum and strawberry make-up cleverly disguised
many of her spots and pimples. She was wearing higher heeled shoes, and
shorter dresses, and she proudly displayed her knobbly knees to the
assembled journalists at the railway station as she boarded the purple
express for her departure to Aquitania.

In the happy throng, concealed behind the band playing the Kerovnian
national anthem, lurked Gringo, accompanied by Pete and George, the
Underworld newspaper's photographers. Lacey's excitement at visiting
Aquitania for the first time was fully justified; she could see that
most of the country looked like a gigantic seaside resort with the
occasional enclave of coconut or almond trees. The waters of the
Aquitanian sea were the purest and greenest in the universe, with
unrivalled displays of

Page 24

coral and fish. The city of Aquatica itself is a brilliant white, with
houses of dorned roofs and porpoise-shaped swimming pools. The palace
where Lacey was to stay was fashioned of pink marble, and flamingos
fluttered in droves from every rampart and tower.

As Lacey alighted from the train the whole of Aquatica seemed to be
there to meet her, and suddenly, there was Malcolm, rushing forward with
arms outstretched to greet her! He was tanned and fit, wearing his grey
and white tracksuit, white leather sneakers, with his walkman strung
casually around his muscular neck. Only one person was seen to be
scowling slightly. Earl Audarva, father of the bossy and jealous Lady
Franceska. Malcolm shepherded Lacey away from the tumultuous throng and
they embarked in his private helicopter for the Palace. They alighted on
the heli-pad on the Palace roof, scattering squawking flamingos left and
right. The appointed ladies in waiting, curtseying and giggling, led the
way to the lift, which descended to Lacey's bedroom suite overlooking
the famous cactus gardens.

Her rooms were magnificent - larger than any she had seen before, with
their ornate white and pink silk hangings, and intricate antique
furniture. She had her own Telephone, television, and two video
recorders. One for her, and a smaller one for Poops.

While Lacey was unpacking her Cindy dolls, the ladies-in-waiting bustled
around with towels and toiletries, hairbrushes and ribbons, puffs and
powders, soaps and unguents. Suddenly the phone rang - it was her
mother, Queen Jendah, telephoning long-distance from Kozza, the capital
of the mountain region. She had been joined at the winter palace by
Queen Hortensa, and the two ladies had spent many a happy hour together
in deep conclave, plotting and planning the forthcoming Royal Wedding.
She was on tenterhooks to enquire of Lacey if she was behaving herself
in a Royal and ladylike manner? - lf everything was going well? Was
Malcolm truly smitten? - The Aquitanian court duly impressed by her
ladylike beauty and

Page 25

decorum? - Was Poops behaving himself? - And had she remembered to pack
a second pair of tights?

As hours became days, and days drifted into weeks, Lacey hardly noticed
the passing of time in her constant delight and happiness with Aquitania
in general, and the bold Malcolm in particular. Things however, did not
continue so smoothly in the Kingdom of Kerovnia. Unrest amongst the
general population was increasing. Dissatisfaction was rife because of
the burden of increased taxation. The Royal family already owned two
palaces and a residential seaside villa, and now another Royal Palace
was planned, not to mention the enormous expenditure of the fast
approaching Royal Wedding. Queen Jendah had several private building
projects on hand, and the Added Value Tax on the emerald mining had
risen to an unprecedented 23%! Erik had been warned by his subterranean
espionage agency that mass insurrection was brewing and he decided to
take the heat out of the situation by holding a democratic by-election.

This was a unique, historic, and (some thought) dangerous notion:- but
nevertheless Erik insisted that candidates for the election should
comprise not only of a member of the Noble family guild, but also
representatives of the Little People, Gnome and Dwarf communities. It
was the dawn of a new era, history was in the melting pot: Erik, Gringo,
Kronos, Jendah, Zita, (and indeed Lacey herself) would all have their
part to play in the rich tapestry of events that were soon to follow.

Lacey splashed happily in the dappled water of the swimming pool,
surrounded by the playful Dolphos, (the hybrid of dolphin-frogs), that
she had befriended during her stay in Aquitania. She felt fitter and
happier than she had done in her entire life. This, despite her ominous
lobster-pink colour: a result of either too little sun-screen lotion, or
too much of Malcolm! Although the Princess's visit was running more
smoothly than Malcolm had expected, this did not deter his gaze from
wandering from Lacey's face, and dwelling on the lanky-legged Franceska,

Page 26

as she scowled aggressively at the Royal photographers. He felt a twinge
of regret that he would shortly see her only on state occasions - and
that official business would have to replace monkey business! Jumping up
and stretching to the full four feet and two inches of his tanned and
rippling frame, he dived in Royal fashion into the heated water, and
energetically swam several lengths of the pool to impress the female
spectators. Lacey stopped splashing around, and gazed wonderingly at her
Prince. She pushed the Dolphos to one side and put a hand to her
trembling bosom, as Malcolm calmly swam over to Franceska, and wickedly
pinched her toes.

Franceska squealed "Don't do that Malcolm, you know how ticklish I am."

"Why don't you come for a swim, you lazy beast" he quipped, and grabbing
her by the ankle, pulled her into the water. Then, while the guests
laughed wildly at his antics, he chased the Lady Franceska round the
perimeter of the pool, whooping and yelling as she screamed with
delight. Her pleasure was considerably increased when she noticed a
shocked Princess Lacey regarding the scene with horror and dismay.

"Malcolm. Oh no, Malcolm" Lacey whispered. "Don't do this to me. Why are
you so interested in that - that thing, when I am here? Why, Malcolm?
Oh, Why?" Her whisper rose steadily to a nasal whine, and Poops, who was
fast asleep under a large cactus, began barking fiercely.

Dorabs are often over-protective towards their mistresses, and when he
saw Lacey's distress he whipped himself into a fury. Dashing towards the
edge of the pool, he tripped over an empty wine glass and somersaulted
into the water. With teeth bared and nostrils flaring, he dorab-paddled
at high speed towards the frolicking Franceska.

Before you could say "Humfrey Humbleburger!" Poops had his teeth in the
top half of her bikini, and as the wild flurry of flashing teeth and
frothing spray subsided....

Page 27

SHOCK! HORROR! READ ALL ABOUT IT - Franceska's torso was suddenly
revealed to the delighted throng, as naked as the day she was born!

Malcolm's lithe figure carved through the water towards Franceska,
partly to rescue her from the vicious dorab, but mainly to get a close
up view of the lady's embarrassment. Teeth snapping, fur flying, Poops
turned on Malcolm, and viciously bit his finger. Malcolm screamed in
pain and hit out at the tiny creature. Missing the dorab by an inch, he
caught Franceska a glancing blow on the jaw and knocked her under the
water. The guests, thinking Malcolm was suffering from sun stroke, and
was attacking the lovely lady, began diving into the water and raining
blows from all sides upon the unfortunate Prince, who was soon knocked
unconscious, and had to be rescued by the Royal Lifeguards.

Lacey became hysterical and ran screaming from the pool to her room,
closely followed by several ladies of the court, shrieking and swooning
as they fluttered behind her. The horror of the entire scene had been
caught by two Dwarf journalists, hiding behind some pringle bushes, who
were bearing Gringo's support badge, and had been taking photographs of
the prevailing confusion.

News of the events spread quickly to other lands, and the ten o'clock
news on Aquitanian television devoted a full hour to the story. King
Erik was disturbed from a heavy game of pinochle, to attend an emergency
cabinet meeting to discuss the advisabillty of his daughter's intended
marriage. Hortensa cut short her visit to Silenissia to return home, and
Jendah rushed back to the capital city to comfort her daughter. Foreign
reporters had been urged to treat the entire affair as an unfortunate
accident - mere high spirits by the holiday guests - but the underworld
press made exzellent use of both pictures and story to undermine further
the King's already shaky position.

Page 28

Kronos, chortling continually to himself, turned the whole affair to his
advantage; persuading many members of the Palace staff that Lacey
suffered from congenital madness, which was responsible for the entire
incident, And when the poor red-eyed princess returned home, with no
official greeting or palace band for welcome, unkind whispers and
rumours abounded on every side. Jendah decided her daughter should spend
several months at Kozza, recuperating from the traumatic affair. Malcolm
was in disgrace, and was sent to the countryside, where, as a
punishment, he was enrolled as leader of the boy scouts association.
Deep in his heart he still felt strongly for Lacey and was ashamed of
his own behaviour. Why had he sparked oft the whole ridiculous incident?
Perhaps, after all, Franceska's mother had been a Green Witch!

Page 29


  CHAPTER SIX

For Gringo and many of the Dwarfs, it seemed an eternity until election
day. Their time had been fully occupied with many and varied tasks,
pinning posters of Gringo to the trees around the forest perimeter,
addressing rallies of eager Dwarfs, and preparing political speeches.
Not to mention the day-to-day running of the emerald mines and the
tourist industry.

Erik's spies had promised a reward of two golden coins to every Dwarf,
Gnome or Little Person who voted for the Royalist party; for the King
felt that if a commoner was elected to the empty seat in the forthcoming
by-election, it would signal the beginning of the end of his tenuous
grip an his empire.

Malcolm, in Aquitania, was beginning to enjoy the outdoor life. He led
his boy scout troop with pride, and was secretly planning a trip to
Kerovnia to sweep Lacey off her feet and marry her in total secrecy,
surrounded by his eagle scouts - disappearing with Lacey and the entire
troop as company to some forlorn country retreat, where there would be
plenty of rock climbing and hiking to indulge in.

Kronos, an the other hand, was plunged into a deep despair. Although he
had nothing but contempt for King Erik, the last thing in the world he
wanted was to see the dreadful Gringo elected to office. He had planned
to prepare a magic potion which he would introduce into Kerovnia's water

Page 30

supply, which would sway the populus towards the Royalist party. But due
to lack of time and because he was without the vital assistance of Zita
(who was busily employed in looking after the prostrate Lacey) he was
unable to prepare the magic potion in time. He stayed locked in his
room, sulking away the few days that remained before the election.

At last the great day dawned - and Gringo won the seat by a stupendous
majority. As the Dwarf journalists proudly read the notices on
television that night, Gringo was carried, shoulder high, to the local
tavern, where his supporters drank whisky (The finest, distilled by the
Roobikyoub Dwarfs) and Sparkling Spring Water (The most pure from the
Obakanga valley) all night long. When the results came through, Erik
hurled his crown on the floor, and jumped up and down on it! A fit of
bad temper, which he instantly regretted, as it was full of spiky
diamonds and very knobbly rubies!

Kronos, on the other hand, once he was presented with the fait accompli
of Gringo's election, wasted no time on idle fury, but began sketching
out future plans for tricking the Dwarf leader into collaboration with
the evil sorcerer.

After the hectic events of the last few days, Gringo fell into a deep
slumber. He dreamt, amongst other things, that he was making his maiden
speech in Parliament - and suddenly awoke to discover that he was!

The long Kerovnian summer months drifted slowly to an end, marked by an
Indian summer of brilliant sunshine and cloudless blue sky. The wheat
and barley harvest were completed well on time, because the Little
People, overjoyed by Gringo's success, worked harder than they had ever
done before. The Dwarfs, too, went happily about their labours, singing
and whistling political airs, in polite mockery of the King and
noblemen. The only person who seemed dissatisfied was Gringo himself,
for, although he had the attention of certain radical Royalists, no
political or social

Page 31

changes seemed imminent.

A few weeks prior to the National Celebration and Parade day, Gringo
called an emergency meeting of the Elderly Dwart Society, and outlined
his plans for a national strike. He was intent on ridding Kerovnia of
Kronos and Zita and their strange powers over the Royal Family; for
surely they were in league with the forces of evil? Once Kronos and Zita
had been banished, it would not be too difficult, he suggested, to
gradually dismantle the entire monarchic system? Lacey could marry
Prince Malcolm and spend the rest of her days in Aquitania; and the King
and Queen should be politely, but if necessary forcibly, removed -
either to the summer home or the winter palace. This would leave the
capital city free for the Dwarfs themselves to inhabit. Gringo secretly
looked forward to redecorating the palatial rooms at Keros, and inviting
the numerous members of his family to take up residence in the various
outhouses! The whole scheme was widely approved by his friends and
associates, who had spent most of their working lives toiling in the
mines - to the sole benefit of the King's exchequer.

Queen Jendah was depressed and aggravated by the current events in
Kerovnia, though for quite a different reason from that which was
upsetting her husband. She had received several nagging letters from her
erstwhile friend, Hortensa, urging her to decide on a wedding date for
the Royal couple. She presentod various excuses for Matcolm's
extraordinary behaviour; saying that he was a reformed character and
that he would be only too pleased to assist Erik in the day-to-day
running of Kerovnia. She reminded Jendah that Lattecia was almost
eighteen, and was getting somewhat long in the tooth for an unmarried
lady! These letters inspired rage in the Queen, who realised that
Hortensa was trying to instaff this sprig of Aquitanian Royalty in the
Kerovnian lineage. lf her precious daughter were to marry the baboon, he
could legally remain in Kerovnia for ever - and eventually force the
King to abdicate in favour of his daughter and the Prince Consort!

Page 32

Malcolm was completely under Hortensa's thumb, and if given the
opportunity he would soon remove the Dwarfs from political office and
replace the mineworkers with Aquitanian peasants. Jendah made up her
mind that under no circumstances would her daughter ever marry the
neighbouring Prince. She would soon find a suitable match elsewhere.

Lacey, unaware of her mother's plans regarding her future, continued to
write to Malcolm twice daily. She dictated her letters to Zita, who
passed them immediately to Jendah. All these letters were put into a
large copper chest, hidden under the Queen's bed. All the incoming
letters from Malcolm were discreetly removed from the Princess's mail
tray first thing in the morning, and also hidden in the copper chest.

Zita continually nagged the poor girl, telling her she was wasting her
time writing to Malcolm, as he obviously had no intention of replying.
The princess grieved deeply and began to sicken. She was no longer the
dumpy, knock-kneed girl of yore. She soon turned into a scarecrow-like
figure, with a grey face, and straggly hair. Her pale eyes became black
with sorrow, and sunk deep into her wrinkled face. She begged Zita to
use her magic powers to explain why Malcolm had forgotten her; and Zita
would then pretend to look deeply into her crystal ball and tell
disturbing tales of Malcom's love for a certain Aquitanian lady, and how
he had lost interest in Lacey because of her lack of 'sporting' prowess.
The situation was made even worse, because Kronos in his off-duty hours
would visit Zita and encourage her to keep the princess well away from
Malcolm. Kronos feared that if Lacey married the foreign Prince, and
power was eventually handed over to Queen Hortensa, then the Dwarfs
would be banished from Kerovnia, and the Aquitanian army would take
command of the kingdom; whereupon Kronos himself would at best be
banished, or at worse assassinated by some Aquitanian thug.

In the early days of Autumn, the political situation finally came to a head.

Page 33

Parliament had been convened to discuss seating arrangements for the
famous September Parade some two days later. A list of foreign guests to
be invited to the ceremony had also to be drawn up without delay. The
debate droned on for three hours or more, when suddenly Gringo leapt to
his feet, spectacles in hand, and loudly proclaimed:

"Gentlemen! The time has come to face the realities in Kerovnia. How
many times have I beseeched you to revise and revitalise our society?
But all you do is sleep and snore through every parliamentary session,
when there is work to be done."

Shouts of protest arose from the assembled members, waving their
clenched fists, and demanding that the Dwarf should be removed from the
chamber.

Erik, who was fast asleep, was woken by Kronos. He looked blearily
around him, and, quite misunderstanding the situation, gestured to
Gringo to finish his speech. The Dwarf did not hesitate, and raising his
voice to fever pitch, pointed at the Royal Magician, and uttered the
following curse:

"Damn you, Kronos! Damn you and your sister Zita! A curse upon your evil
souls! lt is you who are responsible for all the ills that assail our
country!"

Kronos jumped to his feet, bellowing in rage, and called upon the
household cavalry to take Gringo prisoner. At that moment a group of
angry Dwarfs appeared, brandishing sabres and guns; and before the
cavalry had a chance to arrest Gringo, the armed group of little men
formed a circle around the perimeter of the hall, their weapons pointing
towards the assembly. The King, too bewildered to speak, collapsed in a
heap on his throne, weeping copiously. Gringo jumped down from the
podium and made his way to the centre of the stage, through a throng of
cheering Dwarfs.

Page 34

"This is your last chance Kronos. Either you leave the palace and the
land of Kerovnia peacefully, or you and your sister-in-crime, Zita, will
be imprisoned!"

He turned to the King: "Your Majesty, do you not realise that you have
been nurturing two vipers in your bosom? Your magician, and your
ex-nursery maid? Do you realise the harm they have caused over the years
through their malign influence on the Princess Lacey, the future Queen
of Kerovnia?"

The King's sobs were replaced by a wail of anguish, "Oh no" he moaned
"can this be true, Gringo? I fear it is, I fear you are right after all!"

Silence descended on the hall as the audience held its breath. Suddenly
the Dwarfs rushed forward and Kronos, snarling and barking like a mad
dog was pinned to the ground. His face became a deep purple, and his
ears belched forth flame and smoke. The congregation of elderly noblemen
retreated slowly to the doors, seeking the safety of the fire exits.
Kronos, bellowing like a wounded buffalo as he realised the totality of
his defeat, clasped his hands together, and intoned a strange
incantation, beseeching help from his unknown Master.

For a few moments nothing happened; and then suddenly the entire room
exploded into a myriad of lights, as an orange ball of fire descended
through the roof and plummeted to the polished wooden floor. Fortunately
Gringo had a pair of sunglasses with him, but the light was so
overwhelming that the Dwarfs holding Kronos were forced to let him go.
Gringo stared in amazement as Kronos leapt into a burning fiery carriage
that appeared from the orange ball of flame. lt was drawn by four black
horses, rearing and snorting, pulling and tearing at their harnesses of
molten red fire. Their hooves scraped the floor, the silver of their
shoes glittering and sparking; their whinnying, a sound too terrible for
human ears.

Page 35

The ball of fire floated through the ceiling, and Gringo shivered with
fear as he saw the driver of the devilish contraption. He wore a long
black cape, his top hat was aflame, a long driving whip firmly gripped
in his cloven leather gloves. He howled and screamed with glee at the
frightened throng pressing themselves into the corners of the hall.

"See you all again" he screeched; and as his words reverberated on the
wind, the fiery vision vanished.

Eventually order was restored, and Erik was put to bed with a severe
dose of hiccups. Gringo rallied his supporters and gave instructions
that they should spread out around the town to avoid any trouble. He
gave orders for Zita to be arrested, and removed from the country home
of Kozza, to a place of safety far beneath the great Atina mountains.

Page 36


  CHAPTER SEVEN

Gringo decided that the National Celebration day should go ahead,
although he would have to force agreement to a democratic General
election later on. On reflection he felt that the terrifying events that
day in Parliament were nothing more than a magic trick produced by
Kronos to effect his escape. He was convinced that he would shortly
return - if only in an attempt to rescue his sister, Zita.

lt was thought better to keep all reports of these strange and
terrifying events away from the ears of the fragile Princess Lacey. As
the celebration day grew nearer, excitement mounted among the
Kerovnians, it was felt in the air that great events were afoot. There
were many radical changes in Kerovnian society, the most unusual being
the formation, by public decree, of a Worry and Suggestion Society.
Large yellow boxes were placed in the main streets, into which people
could place papers indicating their worries, desires, and suggestions
for reform in Kerovnia. The boxes were emptied regularly three times a
day, and the suggestions were studied by the president of the Society
and his colleagues. By this, and other subtle and insidious means,
Kerovnian society began to turn quietly and discreetly into a community
of Dwarfs.

The morning of the National Celebration proved to be fine, if rather
windy. Erik, still weak from his chronic attack of hiccups, managed a
brave smile as his stable lads brought Bruce to the mounting block. The
Royal horse was in fine spirits, his long black mane was threaded with
gold, and pink

Page 37

roses had been fastened to his tail. He had been shod with golden shoes,
and his horn was of a matching hue. Queen Jendah was sporting a long
sweeping gown of pure silver, on which were fashioned hundreds of tiny
flags of the Kerovnian state.

Erik, who had mellowed somewhat since his illness, permitted her for the
first time to wear a crown. Unfortunately no crowns had been forged for
women in the Kingdom for many centuries, and hers was too large, and
threatened either to fall off the back of her head or slip down over her
nose. Lacey had not been permitted to join the Royal procession, so she
had to be content to watch her parents leave the Palace from the main
balcony. lt was considered wiser for her own safety that she remained
within the Palace walls, although she planned to join the festivities
later in the day. The Royal cortge moved slowly away in the brilliant
sunshine.

The King and Queen were flanked by members of their personal guard,
dressed in their best uniforms of red and gold. Behind the foot soldiers
walked the Royal mascot, none other than Poops, dressed for the occasion
in a tiny gold and red coat. He was followed by the head kennel-keeper,
dressed in identical uniform.

Then came a unit of the golden cavalry mounted on pink unicorns
representing the light-guards, and finally a division of the heavy-guard
mounted on pale blue elephants. Behind the elephants followed a
procession of Royal guests and various members of the aristocracy. The
Royal cortge proceeded peacefully for three miles, the cheering
becoming ever louder as the sun rose higher in the sky. But then, as
they rounded a narrow bend, to pass in front of the Town Hall where the
mayor was waiting to greet them, Bruce suddenly panicked at the sight of
a green and yellow crocodile and reared high on his hind legs. Erik's
visor slammed shut across his eyes, the charger reared again, and the
King lost his balance and hurtled to the ground, hitting his head on the
pavement, and was promptly knocked unconscious.

Page 38

The guards rushed forward to assist his majesty, and Jendah, fearing
that her mount would be crushed in the panic, spurred her little unicorn
forward. Suddenly out of the blue a large stone whistled through the
air, and struck her smartly in the centre of her forehead. She toppled
off her mount, and in an instant died.

A mysteriaus shadow fluttered over her and disappeared.

The horrific news of Jendah's assassination spread quickly throughout
the neighbouring countries, and Kerovnia went into deep mourning for the
beautiful Queen. The King, who had suffered nothing more than a bump on
the head, retired to Kerga with his daughter to prepare for the funeral.

They were joined at Kerga by numerous noblemen and state councillors,
who gathered to advise the King on what course of action should be
taken. Many thought that Erik himself was at fault, because he had
allowed the lowly Dwarfs to take power; and others blamed him for
exiling the sorcerer - who surely could have predicted, and thus
probably avoided, the tragic train of events.

Queen Hortensa, for her part, feared that a matrimonial union would now
never take place between the two countries. On the advice of her Green
Witch she determined to marry Erik, thus ensuring that Kerovnia and
Aquitania were permanently linked. One person who had been quite
forgotten by those at Kerga (admittedly an easy person to forget) was
the noble Malcolm. On hearing the news of Queen Jendah's death, his
thoughts raced to his beloved Lacey; and he proceeded post-haste by way
of helicopter to Kerga.

Many peopie were milling around the palace, but Lacey was nowhere to be
seen. The Princess spent most of her days looking out to sea, seated on
a great wooden raft that floated on the waters on the main palace swimming

Page 39

pool. She was unaware that the Prince had arrived in Kerga, and thought
that her happiness had been lost forever. Malcolm explored every nook
and cranny of the Summer Palace and eventually wandered into the
extensive gardens. Creamy clouds speckled the pale blue sky, light winds
rose off the sea, and brushed Lacey's hair against her cabbage cheeks.
Poops, who was also in a state of nervous Depression, sat next to her
listlessly reading a comic. She stared miserably out to sea, searching
for a ship that would come and rescue her.

Suddenly, out of the blue sky, a voice reverberated across the water:
"Lacey, my darling, so this is where you have been hiding from me all
this time. At last I have found you!"

Lacey rose to her feet, and at the sight of Malcolm, swooned and fell
into the water. Poops barked madly, and Malcolm carried the bedraggled
princess to the satety of the shore and administered the kiss of life,
at unnecessary length. Eventually she opened her pale red eyes, looked
into the deep blue of Malcolm's and know that, at last, she had found
True Love.

"We must leave here at once!" said the Prince, "Let us make our way to
the capital and seek help from friends. Will you come with me, my adored
one?"

"Of course", uttered Lacey weakly . "1 will follow you to the ends of
the earth." Tears of happiness, mingled with beetroot mascara, ran down
her cheeks.

"Let us leave at once" whispered Malcolm "I shall order a carriage of
unicorns to be prepared. lt is too dangerous to travel by helicopter, we
could be intercepted by a unit of flying walruses! - Go quickly and pack
some clothes and we shall be on our way to happiness."

Whilst this idyllic scene was taking place, Erik sat listening unhappily to

Page 40

the recriminations of his advisors, demanding the removal of all Dwarfs
from the land of Kerovnia.

"They are but murderers and thieves!" screamed the courtiers. "They
killed the Queen. Banish them forever, let them be punished for all
eternity!"

A united cry arose from the assembled throng, louder and louder still:

"Banish the murderers, banish the murderers!"

"Perhaps they are correct", mused Erik at length. "Bring forth my
secretaries and let them enscribe this decree: 'All Dwarfs are
henceforth banished from Kerovnia! All power that has been given them,
whether political or financial, is hereby rescinded"'

The secretaries busily scribbled the King's decree on a huge sheet of
parchment, and the noblemen nodded in agreement.

Hortensa felt strangely moved by Erik's display of strength in such
difficult times - and promised herself that she would marry the bereaved
King at the earliest opportunity.

Erik then ordered the assembly to leave the room, indicating by a nod
and a vague wave of the hand that the audience was over. Jauntily
adjusting his September Grown so that it covered his balding patch, he
rose to his feet, pulling his ermine cloak firmly around him. As he left
the room the crowd bowed low in obeisance. Erik felt decidedly better:
he had rarely felt so wise, so noble, so respected - so very much a King!

Page 41


  EPILOGUE

And so it came to pass that almost all the friendly Dwarf community,
together with their cousins, the Little People, were forced to leave
their jobs, abandon their stone houses and go to live in the
neighbouring lands to scrape a meagre existence from the soil.

The resourceful Gringo, however, stayed behind and rallied his
compatriots and friends. The more influential of his companions were
hidden safely in the mountainous regions in bolt-holes that had been
bulit long ago in case of war or other emergencies.

Erik dwelt at Kerga, cosseted by Hortensa, who strived to win his heart.
Although the King found her intelligent (for a woman), he had no
intention of remarrying; at least not until he had found his precious
Lacey. Since Malcolm and his princess had fled the summer palace, no
news had reached Erik of their whereabouts. He had been informed by a
coachman that the Prince had requested a carriage and four unicorns, and
the last he had seen of Princess Lacey, she was being bundled into the
carriage by Malcolm. Then they had sped away from Kerga in a cloud of
dust, and disappeared.

At first the King had found it difficult to believe that his daughter
could have run away with such a fellow, and thought that perhaps the
coachman had been mistaken. He hoped that Lacey had simply taken up
residence at Kazza to be alone with her thoughts. He could not have been
further from the truth!

Page 42

Two weeks after the funeral a messenger, travelling south on an errand
for Queen Hortensa, thought that he had spotted the carriage heading
north. The description of the man driving the unicorns fitted Malcolm,
although the Princess had not been seen. The King began to worry about
Lacey quite seriously. Spies were sent out to every corner of the land
in an endeavour to trace the couple, and a huge reward was offered for
any news of their whereabouts.

Erik began to lose weight, and took to spending long hours in his
bed-chamber, reflecting on the miseries of life. Hortensa, quick to take
advantage of the situation, made herself head of the Kerovnian Parliament.

The months sped by, and soon the winter melted into spring, with still
no news of the Princess and her Prince. The King took finally and
completely to his bed and the land of Kerovnia plunged into financial
and political despair!

As the economic climate degenerated, it began to look as if the Royal
Treasury would fail to pay off the national debt. Nature herself took a
strange course - the great forests that had so dominated the
countryside, with their emerald-green beauty, began to wither and die.
Agricultural experts were asked to explain why the thousand-year-old
trees were suddenly losing their lust for life. Tree surgeons tried many
different medications but the trees continued to die, and it was feared
that very soon there would be no forest left at all.

The greatest loss to the community was Princess Lacey and Prince
Malcolm. Both Hortensa and Erik, in their grief, had abandoned the idea
of seeing their children again, and feared that the wicked dwarfs had
assassinated them whilst on route to Kozza. To console their grief, they
decided to remain together at Kerga and plan the future of their two

Page 43

countries.

And so the seasons changed once more, the skies became a brittle,
brilliant blue, and snow fell on the mountain tops. The dwarfs went
about their underground activities with as much zeal as in the old days,
and planned the coming revolution. The tourist season proved to be a
minor success that year; which was of some comfort to the King, and
throughout the winter months people were to be found trekking among the
foothills mounted on the pretty pink unicorns.

There was an extraordinary discovery that year (first sighted by two
investigative journalists) of a snowman, some fen feet tall, who
overlooked the largest of the ice valleys. People travelled from far and
wide to look at him, and admire the clownish smile forever pinned to his
icy features. His eyes seemed to be focussed on one particular mountain
peak - and from time to time a frosty tear rolled down his icy cheeks,
turning to a tiny myriad-hue icicle as it touched the ground. lt was
almost as if he had lost something; or wanted to go in search of
something, but could not, because he was so firmly rooted,to his icy patch.

lt was said by some that at night, when the moon hung silently in the
sky counting the stars, it would tell sad tales of the old man living in
the moon to the snowman, and in response his icy friend would invent
strange stories of magicians and kings, fairies and princesses .....

Page 44


  Cypheric Help Section

Another unique feature of The Pawn is an integrated Help Line written
into the program itself which will provide you with limited advice on
specific problems. This overcomes the Adventurer's usual nightmare of
phoning the author, begging him for 20 minutes to impart some snippet of
advice on how to kick the stuffing out of dragons, and finally being cut
off half way through the solution. It's also considerably quicker and
cheaper.

*How it works*

We call this section 'cypheric' because instead of printing an answer in
plain English, we provide you with an encrypted message or 'cypher'
that, off the Page, is totally meaningless. The Pawn recognises this
cypher and will translate it for you if you type it in. Imparting help
in this way overcomes the usual problem with hint-sheets (i.e.
accidentally reading solutions to problems you haven't encountered yet.)

*How to use it*

Scan the section for a question that resembles your particular problem.
You will notice that there are about 3 cyphers to each question. These
are roughly in order of difficully, and you may be prevented from
reading certain answers until you have achieved a certain score or level
of competence.

*Using the Cypher*

Simply type 'HINT'when prompted for a command by the game. Then enter
the numbers and letters which lie between the '<' and '>' marks (you may
ignore spaces if you wish). If a particular answer is not available you
will be greeted with the message -

Page 45

"You'll need more points to find that out!"

If you have entered the cypher incorrectly you will be told "Sorry, try
that one again."

Remember, not all the answers will be useful to you. Some will be merely
flippant. (it is said that a true adventurer prefers his wounds well
salted!)

*Example*

When the program has loaded, try entering the following:

<5N CM ST PA XX CF EQ PA XF CK EW PG XE CR E7 PU YU>
<AN YV NB OA 7Q YL NB OQ GQ 50 RF M6 76 Y7 NB 0Z G6 Y6 N1 08 7Q 5Q RA MU GW HW>

lf you successfully read those then you now understand how to use this
section.

Page 46


    Questions

*How do I cross the Red Line?*

<5N CS EQ P0 XY TY I1 AU HD CD M9 G8 5E TE> 

<5N C8 E7 PV XB TB IR AE H6 CU EE PA HA TT IM AF XF CV EU PE XU  CT  EX PO XT  TT  IL AD H1 TJ IT AS HH  TM IS PK  YK>

<AN Y5 NI OO GO 59 RV MU G5 Y5 NN OA 7H YJ NT MT GJ 5D RU OU 7A YD N0 OP 7Z Y9 N1 08 7F 5R TR>

*Why is the guru laughing?*

<AN Y5 N6 O0 G0 5B RJ MU 70 50  RF MJ GT YT N5 OS PS> 

<MN  PD X0 CH  EV AV HH TA  IF PF  XV CU  EK  A9  HR CR  ET PZ XB C5 I5 AU H1 T9 IR PR XL CH ES PF XM C5 EN PG XP TP I8 AQ HA RA>


<5N CV E7 PL HL TT IJ AF HE TF  IZ  AD HF CF EL PQ XK TK I1 AI HN TH EH PZ XK CZ EF P0 XZ TZ IF AM 5M>

*How do I drop the wristband?*

<TM OO 7P YJ N9 MD 7D Y0 NP OS GM 5F NF OZ 7P 5U TU>

<5A C7 EE PP XS TR ER G5 Y7 NA MA GS 5O R0 MZ GB 5X RB MV GW YW ND OX 7Q YA RA MP GX 56 N6 OW 7K YY NH MH G0 5B RJ MO 7O YS NP OI GI 5J R0 MP 7S 5P NS ES> not verified 

<TA OQ 7S Y1 R1 M9 GI 5S RH MM GS YS NF OJ 7U YD NL OB 7V 5V RN MI 7I YO NS MS GH 50 N0 OL 7D YA RA MK GV 55 T5> 

*How do I get into the shed?*

<TN  OV 79   YU   N7  M7 GY  5E RA OX 7Q 5Q RS M5  GN 5T RN M0 70  YQ NV OA 7O YS NB OA PA>  

<MN PF XL CW ER PH HH TY I7 P7 XL CD EX AX HO TS IQ AK HW

TQ IW AM XM CI EP PO Xl CJ IJ A5 HG TK IY PY XA CE EZ 7Z>
<MN PV X7 CL IL A7 HY T9 IG PG XZ CB E6 Pg X9 CR I7 P7 5V RB MD G9 5D RY OR PR> 

*What does the guru want?*

<5N CG E5 AH XH CS ED AF HS CS EP PX XB TB ID PD 5K RZ MK GQ 5F NF Ig AJ HQ RQ>

<5N CV E9 PH HH TJ IQ AX H6 TF IX PX XT CL IL AW HQ T8 IZ AK HU T5 IN A6 HO CE ZE AP H8 CB EF P6 X8 C5 Z5 7N YS N6 OF  78  YH NJ OP 7I Y1 C1>

<5N CG E5 PU HU T5 IY AT XT CG EK PH XK CF EG AG H1 T6 IN AV 5V>

*How do I get past the guards?*

<MN PE XG CJ E1 A1 HY T5 IS AY XY CW EU PJ X1 CY E5 PR X7 C5 05>

<TN OD 7U YE NZ OG 7Z YH RH MS GA YA NQ OZ 7K YA RA MY GE 5A RU OU 7A YP NO OL GL 57 RY M9 79 YO NP OS 7D YU NB ML 7B 5L TL>

<5N CF EL  PZ  XP TP II AM HD TU EU PA XH CJ EV PD HD TY I7 A8 X8 CF EJ AJ HI T7 I6 AW XW CK IK AL HW TF IQ AJ H9 C9 EW PU XE TE IU AV HW TY I7 AO XV NV>

*What do I do with the note?*

<TN OV 77 YL RL MH GR 5Y RH MS GP 5H NH OS 7D 5I TI>

<5N CI E5 A5 H6 TF IV AK HU TB EB PX XH CA EF PD XJ CT EL AB X8 CF EJ PQ HB TX EX PB XM CW IW AR HH TT IR A5 HI TR ER P5 XU TV MV>

<TN OA 7E Y8 NE OA 7D 5D RV MK 7K YW NY MY PA XD CL EB PZ XH TH IT AL HV TB IU GU>

*How do I buy things?*

<5N CPI EQ PM HS TR IS PS XP CI EP PG HG T1 I6 AL HW TG 17

Page 48


    

AI H5 T7 E7 PY XI TI IH AJ HV T5 IS GS> 

<MN PD XU CW EP P7 XM TM IB AZ HO TX I5 P5 XY CT EZ PK HK TW IR AH XH C1 EI PP XZ CP E8 AB HD TB IM A7 HP TI Z9 AI XI  CJ  EB PX XH TH IN AI H5 TS I1 G1> 

<MN P8 XQ CF EX P7 XG TG IW A6 HF CF E8 PS XX CF E5 PS XF TD ED PQ XM CB EL PQ XA CF EX PN HN TM IA AD HU TB I7 AP H7 TL ML> 

*How do I get the lead?* 

<TA 00 7L 5J RO 00 7G YM N5 OS 7N YS N5 OX GX 5T RA OA 7Q Y2 NK MK GY 57 RX MG AG> 

<MA PF XS C5 I5 AN HG TF EF PS XT CH EL PI HI TK IV AK HF RF> 

*How do I read the tomes?* 

<MA P5 XN CB EE AE H7 C7 EU PX XN CT EN AN XH TH 05 7R YM N7 M7 GI 5K NK OR 7Y YD NM EM> 

<TA OQ 7Z YF NS MS GM 5A RI MP 7P YM ND MD GB YB N5 ON 76 Y1 NH ON GT YT NH 00 7L YW NR MR GY 5X RY OE GE X8 C5 EJ AJ XL R9 Ml GG 5W NW IY Ag H9 TD I9 PK YK> 

<AA YQ NZ OK 7Y YT RT MX GQ YQ NJ OF GF 5M RO MA GD 5V NV OF 7K YG NO MO 77 57 RS M5 GU YU NT OM 7Q 5B RM M7 77 YU NW OR 7W YM RM MW GU 5N NN OV 7H Y1 NJ 09 G9 5U R5 05 7R Y7 R7 MR GE 5D NZ EZ> 

*How do I use the aerosoul?* 

<TX 00 7S 5R NR 05 7U 56 R5 05 7I YN NV MV GU YU N7 OQ 78 YL NB ON 7V Y8 R8 MZ GF 5S RD MB GW 5L N8 MB GN 5H RT MZ GP YE N7 OV 7E YA RM IM> 

<TX 09 78 Y7 R7 MR GH 5R RT OT 7J YF RF M9 GU 58' RU OU 77 YY NS 05 7G YN NX MX GM 5P RJ MO GL HL> 

<AX XO TX EO GP 5S RN ON 7V Y9 NP ON GN 5H RJ MO GL YL N1 OJ GJ 5Z RT MY GW 56  RZ  ME 7E YM N7 OE 7M 5M NM EM> 

<TX IU AE HA TB IA PA XT CM EH PM XI CP IS GS> 
    


*How do I kill Kronos?* 

<TN OF 7L YD N9 08 G8 5U R9 MI GK YK NV 06 G6 57 RM ME GG 55 RV ME 7E YS NR 01 7J YO RO MR GE 5P RM MH GP YP NL OI PI> 

<MM PW XU CN IE AO HE CE EY PT XY CH IH AX HN TT I9 P9 XW CR EE PP HP TO IX AP HZ TQ I8 A5 X5 C6 E1 PR XN CP E9 79> 

<MA PK XV C5 I5 AT HJ8 TP IZ PZ XU C9 ED P9 H9 TV I1 AD XD CO EF AF HL TQ IX PX XY CR E5 P8 Y8> 

<AS YD NJ OP 7X Y6 R6 M7 GG 50 NO OK 7V YN NY 07 7R 5R RP MX GB 5X RY MT 7T YH Ng NH GB 5J RU IU> 

<TS 01 76 YE RE MM GT 5A NX OB GB 5Q R8 ME 7E YO NS OP 7H 5H RO MQ 7Q Y6 N1 M1 GV 5N TN> 

<5N  Cg  EQ PM HM TN II AN HQ T6 E6 P7 XV CH IH Ag HB TV EV PN XR CH EL P6 X1 C8 E7 PX XY CT EH PL HL TK  IZ  AR H5 TA IE PE YE> 

*Where's the thermonuclear device?* 

<MS PD XA CK IK AW XW CO EQ PK XO CE EA PQ XB CL E7 A7 HA TO IH AO HG T9 Ig AF HM CM EA P7 XD CU EK PI XW CR EH AM XM TS OR 7E YU NB MB GZ 5J NJ OT 7S Y5 R5 05 A8 HQ TF ID AB HL TT EO AE XE CF EG PN XR CY EP PP HS CP IS GS> 

*How do I use the platform?* 

<MX PU XE CA EQ PB X1 CH IH AN HI TW E1 PI XP TP 05 78 Y9 N6 01 7G XG> 

<AX YB N8 09 G9 5T RN M5 GU 58 R9 MG GM YM NO OP 78 50 RQ NJ GV 5H NH OA 7T YY RY MZ GL 57 N7 OY 7I 5I RK MZ G6 5Z RF Ng GZ YZ NF OB GB 5R RE M6 7U YE NA MA PY XK CV EN PU X7 N7> 

<5X CB EH PD XZ CU IU AN H9 C9 EU P5 H5 TN I8 P8 X6 T6 IZ AL HH TP II PZ XJ C1 EV P8 XK C6 E9 PK HK TQ IF AV H9 TU 

IK AZ 5Z> 
    
*What can I do with the devil?* 
 
<NA PQ XS Cl Zl A0 HQ TL IB AQ XQ C5 EY PR X9 T9 IV AB XB CD EM PR XK NK> 

*How do I get past the cream doors?* 

<5A CY EE PR XO CN IN PR 5Y RK MZ 7Z YE NR 01 G1 5G RK MY GT YT NU QN 7I 5R RW ML 7L YQ NJ OT 7N 5M RA  M7  GD 5U RK MI GW 5R RH MZ 75 5R TR> 

<5X C7 EG PO XR CM IM AW HU TN EN PR XY CL EN PV H8 TE EE PN XZ CK IK AI HE TA EA PIJ XE CG El PY XO CP ES PN YN> 
 
*How do I work the lift?* 

<5M CD EX PR XX CP ES AS HH T8 MO> <TM OV 7U Y9 NR MR GG 55 R8 08 7N YG RN OG GN HN> 

<AM YP NZ MH GP YP NN OU 77 Y6 R6 M2 GF 59 Rg Og 7J 5J RP MI GG 5A NA OG 7E Y5 NU EU> 

<TM OA 7T YR RR M5 GU YU N1 09 7I 5I R9 MD  GH  51 RV MN G1 Yl  NE OQ 7g  YO NJ EJ> 

*How do I vote?* 

<TM OW 7U YN RN MG GO 5G RP OP 70 50 RY MR GS 5R RE MB 78 YM NA 06 7F YX RX OR GR XY CK EZ AZ HE TR I1 P1 X9 C6 I6 A8 Hl T9 ZG AH HX TT IL AO XO CS EQ AQ HX TP IE AA HQ  TZ  IF Ag HZ C5 05> 

<TM OF 7X Y9 R9 ND GL 5D RK M6 G9 5K NK OG 7N YS N5 08 G8 5E RI MP 7P YJ NH OP PP) 

<MA PQ XZ CK IK AR HY TI IP PP XM CD ID AZ HB TX EX PS XF TF I6 AL HI TK IA PA XN CD ID AH HH CH EO PA XD CM EF AF HQ  T7   IQ  AB  H6  TN IS GB> 

<MA PN XX CT EA PX HX TT IR AH HA TG I5 A7 HZ TT IH A5  HH  TV EV P5 XI C9 E8 P7 XR CT IT AK H6 TZ I6 P6 XB  CZ  EH PH Hg TN II AW XW CP EX PT XA CQ EX 7X> 

*How do I kill the adventurer?* 

<TM OP GH 5N NN OG 75 YU RU M7 G8 55 RS OS AH XH CG EZ P5 H5 TA IH AM HE TR I7 AN XM CF EL PQ XX TX IG AE HY TH EH PA XS TS ID AJ HB TL IJ PQ HJ RJ> 

<5M CV EB P1 XB T1 E1 PV X6 T6 IO AS HB CB E9 PY XW CG ZN PG HN TI Z5 AH HV CV ML GH 5A RT MM GD YD N8 06 79 59 RV MB G1 5H TH> 

*How do l get past the dragon?* 

<AA YQ N2 OK GK 5L RH MT GO 5S RP OP 7M YD RD M7 GM 5B RR OR 7K  YB  N9 OG 7N 5F RS MH GP 5A RQ M8 GF HF> 

<AA YP NI MI G7 5U NU OV 7J YO NS MS G6 5F RX M9 79 YV N5 OI 7R YW NM EM> 

<TA OQ 7S Y1 R1 MG G7 5Y RZ MF GH 5Z NZ OQ 7L Y6 R6 M5 GG 5M R7 M6 GW 58 R1 MN 7W YL N8 ON 7X 5X RB MZ 7Z YK NW OG PG> 
 
<MA PP XI TI I5 AS H5 TX IQ PQ XA CH IH AX HS T6 TF PF XM CO EG PM HM TP I7 AP HL T6 IK AU HV TN IX A5 X5 CN E8 A8 HS T5 IH A5 55> 
    
*How do I move the wheelbarrow?* 
    
<AN YV N9 OH GW 5G R7 MM G7 5P RR MY GK 5Y R7 MB 7B YJ NO MO G1 5J RP M8 78 YK NZ OL 7Y YD CD> 
    
<5X CB E8 P9 H9 TO IM A7 HM TI IH AT HZ TT IM AV XV C1 EG AG HN TI IK PK XL CW EY PN XE CY ET PR HR T9 IB P8 XB CV IV AO HQ TN IX A5 X5 TT ET PG XO CL IL A7 HY T9 EK PY XT TT IL AD HA TD IY PY XD CL EP AP HO TJ I8 AQ H6 C6 E9 P8 XS TP ES 7S> 
    
*How do I get through the double doors?* 
    
<MA PN XX TX IU AW HQ TL ZO AG 5G> 
    
<AA YI NG ON  7g 5g  RH MS GY 5T RL ZL> 
    
<TA OM 7H YY RY M1 GV 5S NS OD 7J Y1 R1 MH GA 5D RS M5 G8 H8> 
        
<AA YH NH OB 7V Y7 NB OJ 70 YG RG MF GJ 5H NP 07 7P 5P RP MW GU 55 RA MP 7P Y8 N9 OY 7K 5K RJ MD GB 5L R9 Mg GP HP> 
    
*How do I get past the paper wall room?* 

<AM YB N6 OA 7E YU RU MQ GF 5g Ng OK 7Z 5Z RP MX GF 5g Tg> 

<5M CN EU PN HN TT IM AT HE CE EG PN HN TV I9 AH XH CW EI PL X1 C6 E8 P5 XX NX> 

<5M CW EU PN HN TG IO AG HP CP EO AO HH TQ I7 AM 5M> 

*I've won but not with a full score. Why?* 

<TN OY GG 5M NM MB 7S 5R NR OP 7L YO RO EA AA HP TO Z1 AJ HQ CB EX AX HA TH IH Pg XJ TJ IR AW HU TX IN A6 X6 CJ EF PU Hg  Cg  EG P7 XL TN EN GY YY NH OA 7T 50 RL OL 7V YW NU OA GG YG NW 06 7F YS N5 M5 GU 51 RV MW Gl 5G NG OS 7B YA NQ MQ GZ 5L RI ML GW 5V NJ MJ GT 5S RX MB 7Q YX RX MS GR 5S NP MS 7P XP> 

<AX Y5 NR OT GT 5U RW MI 7I YT NS 05 7N YV RO IO> 

<TX 09 78 Y7 R7 MR GH 5R RT OT 7J YF RF MU GN 5H NP 01 7I Y7 NR OM 7D 5D RQ MO GO YO RI 0P 7Y YT NM 08 7L YW CW> 

<5X C6 EW PL XO CM E7 PV HV TH IA AF XF C6 E9 PQ Xg CN EX P5 H5 TY IN A8 XB CZ EO PJ XB C6 Z6 A1 HZ CI E5 PG XW TW EF AF HU TN Ig Pg XB CJ EU AU HW TV IB GB> 

<MX PH XT CW EL AL .H7 TY I9 P9 XW CU EN PG XP TP IZ AQ H8 C8 MM GT 5J NJ IR AS HX TO IL PN YN> 

<AX YB NM OW GW 5P RX MB GX 5T RA MX 7X YT NJ MJ GR 5W RU MX GN 56 RZ ME AE> 

<MX PD XM C7 I7 A6 HW TL EL PH XS CM .EO PL HL TT IM AB HX CX EP PT HT TX ZR AJ HV TB I9 AH HF TM MM> 

<TM OT 7S 5S RS MQ GW 5Q NW MW GH 5X RP OP 71 Y9 N6 07 7U 5U RX MN G6 5V RB M6 G7 5I RN MG 7N 5G NN MN GH 5T RE NA 7A Y7 NY MY GZ 5F RM MO 70 YL NF' 06 G6 55 RA MH GL 5W NW OM 7T  YH  RZ MR GH YH NP QX 7B 5D TD> 

Page 53 
    
*What about the alchemists?*

<MM PP HP TG Z5 AI XR C9 I9 AF HH TQ I5 PH HH TN I6 A8 HE CE E7 PS XO CZ EP AP HZ TQ IS AZ X5 N5> 

<5M CF EL PW X8 C5 I5 AR HT TY IR PR XE C5 Z5 AE HR TE IM PM XP CH EF AD HS CS EU PN XY C1 EJ AJ HD TB IS AD HU CU EQ PM XP CH ED  PZ  XK NK> 

<5M CF EL PW HN T1 IR AW HI CI EE P7 XA TA IB AZ H8 TQ EQ PD XL CD EV AJ XJ CP EI PA XE CP ER PH XL TB EL AB XG NG> 

<5A CK EV P5 H7 TP I7 P7 XR CH EK PZ XT TT IO AG HW CW EG P7 XM TM IS AO HE TM EH AH Y5 NS OX 75 55 RR M7 G6 51 N1 OW 7U YH N1 M1 GZ 5L RB OQ 7A 5A RN MX 7X Y5 NG ON 7X 5S NS ES> 

*Where do I find some light?* 

<5M CW EU PN HN TG IO AG HP CP EZ PB HB TQ IL AY HT CT EJ PD XU TU  Z6  AE HU TN EN PF XL CZ EP AP HA TE EE PD XB CL EO PJ HG CQ MA GP 5I R5 05 7H YS NF OM 77 YR RR M9 G8 Y8 NK 06 7L XL> 

<AM YH NA OU GU 57 RM MA GD 58 RK OK 7I YE NA MA G5 5H RR MY GK 56 R9 MK AK> 

<MA PE XO CG EM P7 XR C9 E1 PI XQ TQ 07 7G YF NS OH 7G Y1 R1 OD GD XA CE EM AR YI N1 OJ 71 Y8 RJ EW PQ XM C7 IK PS YS> 

<AA YZ N7 OZ GZ 5P RA ME GP HP> 

*How do I get into the tree?* 

<5N CU EK PF XJ CK ED AD HS TT IY PY XH CA EH PL HL C6 I6 7L YP N8 OH GH XS TS ID AU HH TU EU PT XM CQ IQ A8 HX TN Z6 AO HL TF IZ AD HF CR OR> 

<TN OV 77 YL RL MO GM 57 N7 OB 7Z YB NU OD  7Z 5Z  RB ML GN HW> 

<AN YV N9  08  GH 5N RK MI 7I Y9 N1 OY GY 57 RR OR 79 YV NB MB G9 51 RY IY> 
    
*Floorboards - How do I move them?* 

<5N CV E9 Pg XN TN IH AA HV TB EB PE XA CD EY AY HT TH  IZ  AF HK TA MA> 

<TN OF 76 YN NX MX G9 58 R7 07 7S YO NH OF GF 5Z RD OD 7B 5B R8 M6 GN 5G NB EB> 
 
<TN OV 79 YH NF MF GS 5T R8 MH 7H YH NB OV GV 5D RL MD GA YG RG E5 GP YU CU> 
 
*How do I get past the boulders?* 

<TN 07 7I Y5 NX MX GS YS NR OH 7K YZ NT M8 A8> <MN 7G 5N NG I5 A8 X8 CE ED PL YL> 

<AM YH NA OU GU 58 RW MA 7A YQ NZ OK 7Q 5Q RA MH GP 5I RK MB GQ 5S TS> 

Page 55 

How do I cross the Red Line?
> Drop the Lot
> Sure you're not carrying something?
> And what about the wristband?

Why is the guru laughing?
> Ask him, not me
> Pity you can't drop that wristband yet
> Try stopping him from seeing it

How do I drop the wristband?
> Hard, isn't it?
> Damn, I'd forgotten just how hard this one was...
> Try asking someone to do it for you

How do I get into the shed?
> This one's really obvious
> Where do you normally leave your key
> Try your pocket. Really!

What does the guru want?
> No, it's not a Keema Nan
> The answer is elementary, my dear Adventurer
> Not the bubbly sort

How do I get past the guards?
> Give them something
> Perhaps if they knew what you wanted...
> What else would you do with a demand for ransom?

What do I do with the note?
> Try reading it?
> On second thoughts, don't try reading it!
> Better do as Kronos asked

How do I buy things?
> You'll need something of value
> People round here are pretty careless with money
> Search the dwarves' furniture carefully

How do I get the lead?
> It's embedded in the rock
> Use any sharp tool

How do I read the tomes?
> Cast a spell - Like it says
> This game is a parody, after all. Try 'Cast Spell'
> There is no third clue - bet you're sorry you typed it in now

How do I use the aerosoul?
> No, it's not a spelling mistake, smart-arse!
> You need to kill someone first
> ... And they must be freshly dead
> Press nozzle

How do I kill Kronos?
> Whole list of tedious clues coming up
> You'll need help from another source
> You must kill him in his lair
> Throw the potion bottle at him
> You don't get long to do it
> You could try the thermonuclear device

Where's the thermonuclear device?
> Try a completely different adventure. 'Lord of the Reagans', perhaps..

How do I use the platform?
> Pretend you're Kronos
> The platform has only one way of telling if you're Kronos
> Think of it as a large weighing machine

What can I do with the devil?
> Try doing what he asks

How do I get past the cream doors?
> Knock (Are you sure you're into adventures?)
> Check you haven't got the wristband

How do I work the lift?
> Summon it
> Wait for it...
> It's just like a real lift
> And it has sliding doors

How do I vote?
> You need a ballot paper - Are you an anarchist or something?
> Try looking under the rug
> The safe is not as empty as it first appears
> Being ideologically unsound will cost you points

How do I kill the adventurer?
> I'm not sure I can condone this kind of thing..
> Well, if you must... Only Kronos can help

How do I get past the dragon?
> The dragon is very short-sighted
> He is also very hungry
> Try showing him something else to eat
> He needs to have them illuminated as well

How do I move the wheelbarrow?
> The wheelbarrow is very heavy
> The wheelbarrow is not designed to be moved - bet you're sorry you asked now...

How do I get through the double doors?
> Be polite
> Many times
> And tip the porter
> Otherwise you'll scotch your chances

How do I get past the paper wall room?
> Paper can be torn
> You look in the cupboard
> You need a rope

I've won but not with a full score. Why?
> I'm 25, but I haven't got a proper job, why? I don't know, these things just happen, that's all...
> Did you cheat?
> You need to buy drinks for 2 people
> Whether you enjoyed his music or not - buy him one
> Have you found the Pot Plant?
> Try potting it properly
> Use the right sort of implement
> Oh well, who wants perfection... Make do with the score you've got!

What about the alchemists?
> I don't know, what about them?
> Their idea of food isn't quite haute cuisine
> The guru had some food, remember...?
> You'll never get the gold. Lead into gold can't be done!

Where do I find some light?
> You need to give the guru what he wants. Then listen to him
> Now search the clearing
> Elementary Physics - Red+Green+Blue=?
> Mix them

How do I get into the tree?
> Unlock the door - Must I tell you everything?
> Try the wooden one
> The cat sat on the mat

Floorboards - How do I move them?
> They move very easily
> Were you born in a barn?
> Then shut the door, OK?

How do I get past the boulders?
> Find a lever?
> ... Or two
> Now fix them together

